Not a Good Week

Well, I let myself down again.  I am getting really tired of failing.  I had a good talk with Jake last night.  This week with jury duty, the only place to eat was the canteen and the city market.  Well, the city market has great tasting food, except for the part where it's greasy.  OOOHHH, RED FLAG!  That will cause me problems, and it did.  I couldn't work out, and I was miserable.  So in my miserableness, I continued to go downhill.  I just ate worse and worse.  

So I talked to Jake last night.  Another reason I didn't go to kickboxing this week, is, it's cold, and it's at night.  I do well exercising in the morning and at my house.  So for Christmas I am asking for a punching bag, so I can keep up with the kickboxing, but today I emailed my trainer to set up a workout session.  I have found that with not working out in the evening, I have more time with Jake and to be honest, I love that.  So I said to my trainer, I want a workout that is a good, solid, and VERY intense hour workout that will help me tone up.  On Saturdays now, I will only run, doing kickboxing, and running then grocery shopping and any cleaning was getting to be just another work day.  I need to enjoy my workouts, and because I am not a trainer, I cannot make my schedule fit around working out, simply put, working out has to fit in my schedule.  I want time with friends and family.  I also will change when I go grocery shopping, which means it won't take time away from Jake.  

I will grocery shop on Monday, when Jake is at the game store.  Then, my eating.  I have got to stop eating so little during the day, and then tons at night, it sets me up or failure when I don't eat balanced.  I eat balanced with WHAT I eat, so why not with HOW I eat.  

There are a lot of things I need to change and it's sooo easy to say I will, as I have in the past, but I am going to put those into action now.  I am changing things clear from my exercise, to my eating habits, to some personal stuff.  I want to become the person I used to be, the person my husband married!  Last night Jake said to me, "Why are you soo angry at the world?"  Here is what I came up with after thinking about that last night:  Because I am so angry at myself, at my failures.  

When you aren't satisfied with who and what you are or look like, how can you be satisfied with the world around you.

So, today, I am throwing that baggage away.  I am going to start trying to reach out and love those around me more!!

Breakfast:  Oatbran, cherries:  200 calories

Lunch: